Parenting is one great big paradox

Ever feel that parenting is one big game? 

You think you have the rules sorted, then it all changes up and you don’t. 

In the early days you catch yourself thinking, “phew we got this sleeping thing sorted”, then it blows up in your face and they get sick or start teething and you don’t have it sorted at all.

It was a sweet illusive sense of control.

When they become teenagers you think ‘sweet I have this connection thing sorted’, then bam, something happens and it all feels a little fragile. 

On one hand we want to protect our kids from ever feeling pain and discomfort. But the paradox is, they are better people with these experiences. 
Plus, you can’t protect them from the lessons they are here to learn. I learnt this the hard way. You must be the safe landing space. 

On one hand we want to understand our kids needs and pre-empt them and then on the other we must foster personal responsibility. This one is a tricky one to balance.  

When we were dealing with the monster that is anorexia, we knew the behaviours were anorexia, and not the child.

But on the other hand, the only person that could walk that fire and change that circumstance was the beautiful child (with a massive team of supporters and carers).

At the end of the day our kids are responsible for their own lives and we must teach them to see that and also to make decisions that keep themselves and others safe.

And we all need a team of supporters.   

Resilience does not come in one day nor does it come from being taught. It comes from experiences.  

Self-responsibility does not come in one day or in structured lessons. It comes from mistakes.  

But learning to know that they can trust themselves is a big, big first step. 

Learning that they can do hard things, is a game changer.  

As mums, if we don’t trust and love ourselves, how then are we going to teach our kids? 

We cannot give to others what we do not give ourselves. We can’t teach it either. We can use the words, but we need to lead by example.  

I will be forever grateful for the lessons. 

I will be forever grateful for the supporters. 

I will be forever grateful for the courage.  

I will be forever grateful. 

With love 
Bonny 💖

PS. The Mother’s Way is a community of mums supporting each other to show up.